paperknapkin

Webvisions 2007 - WTF?

The quality of Portland's annual Webvisions conference (now in its seventh year) has followed a surprisingly predictable trend over the last few years: one year it's great, the next year it sucks. Unfortunately this year, it broke that cycle.

]]> Since a banner year in 2005, when perhaps the best presenter I've ever seen, B.J. Fogg of Standford U., served as the keynote speaker undercard to Flickr's Simon Butterfield (Fogg clearly should have been the keynote), Webvisions has suffered from two lackluster years. And this year was particularly horrid, save for Garrett Dimon's day one workshop on Improving Interface Design (some good all-around info in his presentation; most significant from my perspective working at a large corp is the concept of failing fast and moving on, or agile, iterative development -- not always so easy when actual development work is constantly pushed back by shifting requirements).

Typically, I at least look forward to attending the sessions, even if I'm not quite sure what they'll be about (ambiguous session descriptions seem to be a favorite tactic of Webvisions editors). This time, after attending two sessions where I a) learned nothing new (which is hard because I don't know that much) and b) couldn't wait to have to pee again, I began to actually dread having to go to subsequent ones.

The final straw came on day two, after a session entitled "Find your inner 'T'" had ended. First of all, WTF is my inner T? Second of all, I spent the first 15 minutes of this session trying to figure out what it was about -- a common theme this year. I figured it was about innovation, since the speaker kept saying that word. He backed up my suspicions when his "conclusion" slide popped up, detailing that we should all strive to innovate and find our passion. Really? We should all attempt to be innovative at work and find something we really like to do? Holy shit! I'm glad I went to this forum so someone could tell me that...

Speaking of shitty presentations, here are two things that should be banned from slide shows: quotes from famous, but totally unrelated-to-the-subject-matter people and definitions of commonly used words. Like I really care how a quote from Yogi Berra applies to web design or I need someone to throw up a slide detailing the definition of "innovate". A possible third ban could be slides with quotes from speakers who presented on day one of the conference you're currently attending.

Now, I don't know why this year's conference sucked so much, but I have an idea. Typically, this affair is held is July. This year it was moved up to May. Judging from the small crowd and last minute schedule changes, I'm guessing this wasn't well communicated and accounted for on the part of the organizers.

Maybe next year, it will be better. Who knows. If all else fails, just bring back B.J. Fogg.

Pet Peeve: "Aesthetic"

First, I admit it. I'm a language snob. I think spelling and good grammar count and I hate it when I see words misspelled and sentences abused. I also read a lot of blogs. Unfortunately for me, the latter often fuels my hatred with regard to the former.

]]> I'm not saying I always use proper grammar or spell words correctly all the time, but I do try, even in e-mail. So, that's why I fret whenever I see others, especially those who post to blogs regularly, not even attempting to write well.

There are many instances of poor blogmanship out there, but one that I've been noticing more lately is how folks use the word "aesthetic". Since many of the blogs I read are focused on design, this word comes up quite often. But I've almost never seen it used correctly! Nearly every time, it's used thusly: "aesthetically pleasing". Wrong! The word "aesthetic" means pleasing. From Webster:

Main Entry: aesthetic
Function: adjective

1 a: of, relating to, or dealing with aesthetics or the beautiful;
1 b: ARTISTIC: a work of aesthetic value;
1 c: pleasing in appearance : ATTRACTIVE: easy-to-use keyboards, clear graphics, and other ergonomic and aesthetic features.

So, instead of saying something like, "I thought that site was aesthetically pleasing", instead you can just say, "I thought that site was aesthetic" or even better "The contemporary aesthetics of that site were on par with some of the best modern design I've seen in some time." Whatever. Just don't write "aesthetically pleasing". It ain't right.

Can Anyone Stop the Tyrant?

You may want to think twice the next time you call Aunt Millie for a friendly chat. From CNN.com today (bolding is mine):

"The government has been secretly collecting records of ordinary Americans' phone calls in an effort to build a database of every call made within the country, it was reported today. President Bush said any domestic intelligence-gathering measures he's approved are lawful. 'We are not mining or trolling through the personal lives of millions of innocent Americans,' President Bush said."

They've probably been tracking e-mail communications for years, but what's next? Every blog post? Bush has moved well beyond King George. Now it's more like Comrade George.

Condi in Action

From ABCNews' The Note this morning:

"Elsewhere on morning television, Secretary Rice said that the UN Security Council is unified in its desire to take action pertaining to Iran, but not yet unified on how to take that action. Secretary Rice guaranteed that some action will be taken, but would not get into details of what that action may entail."

Would that action gain traction if it were targeted at a particular faction? Or would that just be seen as a distraction? Ultimately, the resulting action must garner some sort of satisfaction...

And the 'Most Wonderful Moment' of My Presidency Is...

Per The New York Daily News and msnbc.com's First Read: "Asked in an Oval Office interview with the German newspaper Bild to name the 'most wonderful moment' of his presidency, President Bush came up with a fish story.

'I don't know, it's hard to characterize the great moments. They've all been busy moments, by the way,' Bush said, apparently trawling his memory for good times since 2001. 'I would say the best moment was when I caught a 7-1/2-pound largemouth bass on my lake,' he said eventually."

'Nuff said.

$100 For Gas? This Plan Stinks

Well, not that it needed verifying, but now leading economic analysts are calling the GOP gas rebate plan just plain dumb.

]]> The "Gas Tax Holiday Rebate" is a proposal floated by Senate Republicans that would cut low and middle income tax payers a $100 check, to buy gas presumably.

As Martin Wolk reported on msnbc.com: "It could be one of the dumbest ideas of the year," said Jerry Taylor, a senior fellow at the conservative Cato Institute. "I haven't looked at all of the ideas yet, but it's got to be right up there."

Aside from the C-Note, the GOP plan would also allow oil drilling in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge. Those Republicans sure are sneaky. They haven't been able to pass their ANWR measures in the past, but hey, if they add a provision giving everyone 100 bucks... who could vote against that!

As if $100 will magically cure everybody's gas woes. That would buy (generously) three tanks of gas for the average car at today's prices. For average-sized SUV's, you'd get about two. Then what? Do we get another check? Rather than proposing silly, stop-gap measures, why not the use estimated $10 billion this gas rebate would cost and use it to seriously develop alternative fuels? Or suspend car makers' tax breaks until they improve mileage standards?

In short, it's time for The Decider to step up and make some decisions. Ones that will truly benefit normal working Americans, not just his big business buddies.

The Flight

Our little son Boo is going to be two years old this summer and Mama M and I have decided he's ready for his first overseas trip to see the grandparents. The question is, are we?

]]> My parents live in Switzerland. Before Boo arrived, the Mrs. and I would travel there about once a year to visit them and catch up with my two older brothers and their wives. We skipped the trip last year, fearing the little guy wouldn't be able to handle the roughly 17-hour journey from Portland to Zurich.

Initially, we thought we'd be making at least part of the trip with my oldest brother and his wife, who have a boy about the same age as Boo. But alas, they received the exciting news that they were expecting number two this summer, so we'll be the first ones to make the trip with child. Plus, we'll be expected to report back so they'll be better prepared when they decide to go. Here's one tip we found out during the reservation process: If you want the first row of seats in coach, the one with no seats in front of it, be prepared to pay triple the price. Apparently those are the fancy seats. We thought they'd be great so Boo wouldn't spend hours kicking the guy in front of him. Now we apologize in advance to whoever that guy will be...

To help Boo (and us) survive the flight, we decided to buy one of those portable DVD players. The boy has really started getting into movies lately. He particularly loves 'Madagascar' and 'Finding Nemo'. We figure these flicks, along with about a half dozen Elmo DVDs should make the jaunt go a bit more smoothly for all of us.

We don't take off for another couple of months yet, so if you have any other travel-easing tips, please post a comment.

Let's Talk Business

I was going to write this entry at work but decided to do it offline instead. That way I could more efficiently allocate my resources, and circle back if necessary, then baseline it at a later date.

I don't even know what that means, yet I hear many of these words every day in meetings. Is it time to draw the line on business speak?

]]> It seems as if business people can't wait to invent new words, or at least combine regular words in confusing ways: paradigm shift, white paper, operational excellence, etc. Paradigm Shift was a big one a few years ago, every idea qualified, no matter how small it was. "I propose we use green pens, rather than red ones." "Why, that's a paradigm shift from our current corporate culture." White Paper's been around for a while, but that doesn't mean it makes any more sense. First of all, most white paper's aren't even written on paper. Secondly, a white paper could theoretically be printed on yellow stock, couldn't it. Do we need to call that a Yellow Paper? Or better yet, why not just call it a report?

The list goes on. In fact, I'm going to list my list here.

30,000 foot level
baselined (no more changes can be made to a project)
circle back
course correction
deck (presentation on paper, e.g. printed powerpoint file)
"lights on" initiatives (I really have no idea what this one means)
off-line
paradigm shift
parking lot (section of notes depicting items that need to be addressed later)
realized risks (really means resolved risks!)
reverse angle (from someone's point of view)
take-away
triage
whiteboard discussion
white paper

I'm sure there are more. Which ones have you heard? Feel free to add any I may have missed.

Parking Lot Peeve

I have what I think is an unusual pet peeve. Poor parking lot, and specifically parking garage, design. I became especially peeved a couple of weeks ago at a nearby shopping center when I entered its parking structure only to a hit a dead-end.

]]> That's right. The architect of this particular garage actually thought it was a good idea to include a dead-end in his design.

I'll briefly describe how I discovered this peculiar design defect. After entering the garage, drivers are presented with two options: take a hard right, which leads down to parking space, or go straight and take a right, which leads up to parking spots. See the illustration below.

I thought to myself, "Why go straight when there's parking closer right here?" So I took the hard right, only to find no spots on that level. But as I kept descending into the parking garage I thought, "No need to worry. Surely there will be a turn up ahead that leads to another level below." Nope. The only thing up ahead was a brick wall. Not even a space for cars to turn around.

So there I was, left to maneuver my way through an eight-point turn to get my car facing the other direction in order to travel back up the ramp. I ultimately found a spot, but I came away shaking my head at the utterly bad design of the parking structure. So, what are your pet peeves. Park a comment below.

Keeping It Simple(r)

It's been a while since my last post and there's a good reason for that. Paper Knapkin has undergone some slight renovations. We've taken some of graphic weight out of the site and streamlined the look a bit more. To compare, here's what the old site looked like. Some drastic changes, and I think we took a step in the right direction.

Let me know what you think...

Like Son, Like Father

My one year old son has been talking for a while now, not full sentences, but a word here and there. He started with "Dada" and "Mama", and progressed from there to include "doggie", "bye" "bottle", "car" and a few others, but it's his new favorite word that got me thinking.

]]> A few weeks ago, he began saying "uh-oh". And in the correct context. I admit, I'd been passively teaching him this one for a while, but when he finally figured out when to use it, I beamed with joy.

Of course, once a one year old learns something he never tires of practicing it. Soon mealtime became the "How many times can I say 'uh-oh' game". Here's a typical mealtime, as told through him:

Let me drop this Cheerio. "uh-oh". Yup, that was fun. Let me drop another. "uh-oh". Oh, look Daddy, this time one of the dogs ate it! That's so funny! I think Daddy just told me "no" or something, but I'll pretend I don't know what that means yet. Meantime, I wonder what happens if I drop my cup. "uh-oh". Man, all I have to do is say "uh-oh" and I can get away with anything!

Quickly, I began to wonder if I could start using this technique in my daily life. Wife lets me know I forgot to take out the trash... "uh-oh" and all is forgiven. Accidentally delete an important file at work... "uh-oh". Mow over the rose bushes... "uh-oh". The possibilities seemed endless. So, I decided to try it. Just as I prepared to test-drive the phrase, my son said it again, but this time he included an addendum, something that sounded a lot like "I'll get it." Stunned, I thought to myself "I'll get it? Why would you want to say that? That defeats the whole purpose of saying 'uh-oh' in the first place." Instantly, the all-is-forgiven "uh-oh" became the I'll help pick that up "uh-oh". This also dashed my hopes of using "uh-oh" to my benefit.

Of course, after a few seconds, I once again beamed with pride at my son's first semi-sentence. Then I thought to myself, "I wonder if I can get him to say 'It's not Daddy's fault.'"

If the Shoe Fits

OK, I'll admit I'm a sucker for advertising. At least the creativity of some ads, if not the message they're trying to convey. But every once in a while, I run across one that really makes me want to buy the product being hocked.

]]> Such was the case about a month ago, when I spotted the commercial for the new Nike Free running shoes. If you haven't seen it, it begins with a guy running barefoot on a beach with the tune from Chariots of Fire playing. Soon he passes items typically not found on beaches, such as manhole covers, folks in business suits, etc. At the end, a bus swooshes in front of him and the next shot is of the same guy standing on a busy city street corner, waiting to cross. On his feet are the new Nikes. The point being that these shoes are as natural/comfortable/beneficial as running barefoot.

Well, I never thought running barefoot was all that comfortable in the first place, but since I recently began running again and needed a new pair of sneaks, I headed to nikefree.com to check them out. That's when I got hooked. Not only could I get these shoes off the rack, I could also customize them. Right down to having an inscription placed on the shoes' tongues (which I didn't opt for).

There's one thing to note: The site states that custom orders can take up to a month to arrive. It's close to that now and I'm still waiting. Hope they didn't run out of the fuchsia suede I requested...

For God, Press One

You've proably received them... Calls from phone companies pushing you to switch carriers. Most offer things like better prices or more plan options, but one Midwest carrier is trying out a different tact...

]]> Oklahoma based UAT is using a sort of Voice of God approach to get users to switch; telling them that by signing up, they'll also be helping to cut off gay marriage in America.

Comedian Eugene Mirman was the recipient of several of these telemarketing calls, and as luck would have it, he recorded them.

Now I'm wondering if talking to God is a long distance charge.

The Golden Years, in Black and White

After working together for more than 20 years, my parents recently retired to their home on the shores of Switzerland's Lake Zurich. While their days quickly became filled by attending various open houses (art galleries, design boutiques, even hospitals, all of course with free food and drink), it soon became apparent, especially for my dad, that something was missing, like meaningful work, for instance. So, he decided to focus more of his time on his life-long passion.

]]> As long as I can remember, my dad has loved photography. Not just taking snapshots; I'm talking basement-darkroom-multiple-cameras-contest-entering photography.

Every year as a kid, my two brothers and I were cornered on our birthdays and forced to stand still so my dad could take our picture. The photo would later appear on the Wall of Yesteryear, portraying all of us aging in one-year intervals. We were also subjected to family picture night, which consisted of me, my brothers, and my mom all huddling around a projector screen in the rec room while my dad clicked through reams of slides from a recent trip we'd all taken.

As the years went on, he began developing a knack for black and white prints. Mostly nature and still lifes. But recently, he's intensified his efforts, and there's even talk of hosting his own exhibit. I'll soon post some of his images. If you're interested, let me know.